


Hux Finds a Hobby

by trsu



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Community: tfa_kink, Crack, Gen, Hobbies, skulls - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 15:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6572362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trsu/pseuds/trsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How did Hux start collecting skulls?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hux Finds a Hobby

**Author's Note:**

> Misfire fill: This. At least you can polish skulls.
> 
> Thread here: https://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/3961.html?thread=9207929#cmt9207929
> 
> Also, too lazy to make linked footnotes

Having a hobby was important for the proper working of the brain. Especially people in a position of power needed one of those, to allow the mind to relax, in order for it to work a maximum efficiency later on. This was something Hux had learned at an early age, and he had tried various hobbies since then.

Collecting stamps had not worked, mostly because it was almost impossible to find any. No system under First Order control had used stamps for almost a thousand years, and even then only sparingly. To find stamps you needed to attend auctions, either on-line ones or actual, physical auctions where unintelligent people tried to outbid one another like they were buying slaves. Distasteful. His stamp collection phase had lasted three days.

Next he tried to learn to play the recorder. It was at this point, at fifteen years old, that he realized that he was tone deaf. His playing actually sounded fairly ok to him, and it was simple enough to understand the mechanics of it, but after being threatened by a very irate room mate that the instrument in question would be forcibly inserted into one of Hux's orifices1 he decided that it wasn't worth it anymore (he still kept the recorder and played sometimes when he was entirely alone somewhere soundproof, but this didn't happen often enough to count as a hobby).

In his late teens he went through a lot of different craft hobbies, but he couldn't shake the feeling of pointlessness most of them gave him. Drawing flowers seemed meaningless, creating small candle holders from old tin cans also didn't have any use as he was forbidden from any open flame after an accident with a cigarette lighter, a rubber chicken and a trained tree goat2, origami was too frustrating and pottery too sticky. He was actually rather taken with the idea of knitting, since he could make himself warm socks, but he couldn't figure out the gauge so everything ended up looking crooked. 

He went though a lot of hobbies until he found one he actually enjoyed: puzzles. There was something so very satisfying about all the little pieces fitting in where they were supposed to, useless on their own but together making a picture greater than the sum of its parts. It was the kind of metaphor he liked. Then he met Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren, he quickly decided, had been created by some spiteful god to make his life difficult4. His puzzles started undoing themselves. The pictures changed. Sometimes the puzzles disappeared completely. If he ever managed to finish one there was always a piece missing. It was enough to drive him up the wall, making the function of his brain actually worse than it had been before he started. He even contemplated complaining to the Supreme Leader, which was a clear sign of a mind hovering at the breaking point.

It was in the end Ren who gave him the idea. He had offhanded mentioned something about his enemies and ashes, and when Hux had made a vaguely interested sound Ren had invited him over to his quarters to see5. It had turned out that Ren really did have the ashes of his enemies on display in his room, along with the melted helmet of Darth Vader. The ashes didn't particularly impress Hux, but the helmet sparked an idea in his head. The next time he sent Phasma out to take down a high profile enemy he told her to bring the skull back to him. Removing all tissue from the bone and cleaning the skull would surely prove therapeutic, and the good thing about skulls was that you could polish them.

 

1His nose  
2Don't ask3  
3No really, don't ask  
4Hux had a rather inflated view of his own importance to the deities of the galaxy  
5Hux at the time thought it was a particularly awkward attempt at flirting, and only went for the chance to pretend to be scandalized and punch Ren

**Author's Note:**

> No slight is intended to any of these hobbies, except the ones where you keep the body parts of your enemies around.


End file.
